One of those days

Yesterday was just "one of those days". Some of you may judge me for saying this, others may not have a clue what I'm talking about, and yet others may totally relate. We had one of those days...you know the ones where you kind of wonder why you prayed and pleaded with God to give you children.  I love my babies more than life itself, but yesterday both Nate and I needed a break. 

For the past few days Ava has turned into a whiny, crying, dramatic little girl.  The moment that she doesn't get her way she's crying (sometimes real, sometimes fake).  This does not sit well with me.  She's needed constant attention, meaning she needs to be the center of attention at all times.  I've been reciting a quote that I heard last week at ECFE..."Children need love the most when they deserve it the least".  So I thought that Ava needed some extra one on one time so I told her that she could have a lunch date yesterday.  She got to choose which parent she wanted to go with and choose the place.  She chose Daddy and they went to Cane's.  I'm not sure if it helped with anything, but it was worth a shot.  I'm hoping that this is a very short lived phase.  I feel like she just went from 3 1/2 to 13 over night. 

Then we have Grant.  He is constantly on the go; getting into everything that he shouldn't.  He thinks it's hilarious!  It's hard to get mad at the dimpled smile he has upon his face but seriously.  He now realizes that he has a voice and uses it frequently.  However, not to say words.  It's mainly yelling and pointing.  Oh this drives me crazy!  I've been working with him on his words but he seems to have no interest.  He has started using a bit of sign language, but that doesn't tell me what he wants "more" of. 

We attempted the gym again yesterday morning.  We went to a different Lifetime Fitness (there are two equal distance from our house).  The one we went to yesterday is a bit smaller so I thought that he may do better at it with less kids.  Well, Nate and I got about 7 minutes in on the treadmill before I was paged overhead.  The little guy had been crying the whole time.  I feel awful when I see him like that, but feel like we have to keep trying.  He has to get used to being left with other people, and trust that we're coming back for him. 

Last evening I got the privilege to go and pick up a pizza for dinner.  No, honestly, I wanted to do this.  I contemplated sitting at the end of the street in my car and just enjoying the peace and quiet to myself.  I thought that might a bit unfair to Nate though. 

Yesterday we were so grateful that we have our vacation to look forward to.  However, I know that the moment that I drop the kids off with my sister and drive away I will be crying.  We have never left our kids for a whole week.  Heck, I've never left Grant for more than 2 days (and he was with Nate at the cabin).  I know they will be fine and have a great time.  On the other hand, I know that I will worry about them and miss them beyond words. 

Motherhood (or maybe I should say parenthood) is funny like that.  One moment you want to pull your hair out and the next moment (or maybe a few hours later)  you just want to hold your kids, snuggle them, hug and kiss them, and reassure them that you love them into outer space, to the bottom of the ocean, up to the cabin, down to Grandma & Grandpa's, and back home (for Ava, to the moon and back is not enough).  I try to remember not to wish these difficult days away, as I know that time already goes to quickly.  Ava will be 4 years old next month.  I remember the day that she was born like yesterday. 

So, here's to hoping that today is filled with less drama and more smiles, giggles, hugs, kisses, and long naps.  :)